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cogito-ergo-sum-ergo-cogito:

I’ll always think back to this day because it’s half the reason why our friendship started. You chose me out of every other girl to take me to formal even though we had barely ever spoken. And now we flash forward to the present. Almost exactly a year from that day and here I sit at 03:00 thinking back to the day you told me goodbye. After a year of friendship, you walked away. I cannot express in words how much you meant to me but I tried and it still wasn’t enough to make you stay. I guess you’re much happier now that your relationship is off the rocks. I know she didn’t approve of our friendship but I was there long before she was. You said you’d never let a relationship get in the way of your friendships yet here we are. I never thought the day where you were no longer in my life would ever come yet now they’ve been 43. I don’t think there’s been a single one of those days that I haven’t thought of you. I’m so mad at you for what you did to me. I want so much to hate you but my heart is unable to function that way towards you. The worst part of all of this is that I now have no one to talk to about it all because you were the person who I’d come to with all my emotion turmoil but now that you’re the cause I have no one. The worst part of it all is that I never even wanted to date you or anything like that. I just wanted my best friend but I guess I was asking for too much. 

cogito-ergo-sum-ergo-cogito:

I’ll always think back to this day because it’s half the reason why our friendship started. You chose me out of every other girl to take me to formal even though we had barely ever spoken. And now we flash forward to the present. Almost exactly a year from that day and here I sit at 03:00 thinking back to the day you told me goodbye. After a year of friendship, you walked away. I cannot express in words how much you meant to me but I tried and it still wasn’t enough to make you stay. I guess you’re much happier now that your relationship is off the rocks. I know she didn’t approve of our friendship but I was there long before she was. You said you’d never let a relationship get in the way of your friendships yet here we are. I never thought the day where you were no longer in my life would ever come yet now they’ve been 43. I don’t think there’s been a single one of those days that I haven’t thought of you. I’m so mad at you for what you did to me. I want so much to hate you but my heart is unable to function that way towards you. The worst part of all of this is that I now have no one to talk to about it all because you were the person who I’d come to with all my emotion turmoil but now that you’re the cause I have no one. The worst part of it all is that I never even wanted to date you or anything like that. I just wanted my best friend but I guess I was asking for too much. 

cogito-ergo-sum-ergo-cogito:

I think about it everyday and it tears me apart. I want to be happy. I try to be happy. I really do but it’s impossible to be happy. I mean, don’t get me wrong… I have happy moments where the suffering isn’t as bad but the pain is still there. It’s always there and trying to get rid of it is like trying to escape my shadow or reflection. It’s become a part of me. It’s immense. I’m consumed by it. The harder I struggle the harder it wraps it’s hands around my neck. All I want to do is scream but I’m struggling for breath. I didn’t just lose you that day because when you left you took my voice, my light and my smile.

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